JaShinYa's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[VA Contest 9 Submission]

JaShinYa

Acting- 43/50
Range- 23/25
Fit- 23/25
Mixing- 20/20
Originality- 14/15
Writing- 13/15
TOTAL- 136/150

This entry has great mixing and use of SFX. At one point the orc's voice slipped into a redneck-ish voice. I would have liked to hear more emotional range from Cletus and the main guy. At times you had a bit of a William Shatner complex in your acting meaning some of your reading had an odd rhythem to it and many of the lines had inflections that could have been varied more. Not really bad acting as it fit your particular skit for the most part, but it would have brought your characters to life. It's hard to explain, so if you don't get what I'm saying, let me know and maybe I can try to explain it better. You have an awesome narrator's voice; I'd recommend it to anyone. It sounded very similar to the leader's voice, however, which brings you down a bit in this contest. Overall, your quality is excellent. As far as this contest goes, I need to hear more emotion (great voice for a radioplay or audio book though). I'd like to hear the whole story of this, because i was bit confused at first as to what was exactly happening. "How shitty" gave me a good chuckle. I really hope to hear more from you in the future!
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Treg

Acting: 47/50
Range: 24/25
Fit: 25/25
Mixing: 20/20
Originality: 14/15
Writing: 15/15
TOTAL: 145/150

Additional Comments: Great mic quality. Loved echo effect and cave ambience. Great job working fantasy adventure into this horrible job theme. Or.. maybe I mean the other way around? It's written like an audio drama series. I'm actually kind of interested in hearing this continued. Excellent range of characters.
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mrbipolar

Acting: 45
Range: 24
Fit: 5
Mixing: 20
Originality: 13
Writing: 14
Total: 121

Review: Let me start by saying that your mixing was very well done. I can not find any issues with it to critique on. To add, I think that your acting good and I could feel where your characters were coming from, however the orc needed just a tad bit more to sell me on his character. Now as far as writing is concerned it was pretty good not perfect but good. the originality was not bad either. However, I do not feel that it fit the theme very well. Sure the job ended badly, and it was bad that the ruler knew that there was no ore to be found, but I personally don't feel that the main character had a pretty good point, easiest money you can make. Overall not a bad piece at all. In fact I liked it, but I have to be a judge.
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SimCorder

Acting[45/50]
Range[23/25]
Fit[22/25]
Mixing[20/20]
Originality[12/15]
Writing[13/15]
Total[135/150]

Excellent acting, decent accents, Either these adventurers are either very brave, or they can't express fear, and nice touch with Cletus's drunkeness. the narrator and Miraeon sounded similar to each other, but you put a lot of effort into Cletus and Thrum though, it shows. Everyones fit was perfect, Thrum though, I didn't really realize he was an Orc until it was pointed out, I thought he was a viking or barbarian at first. Some EPIC mixing here, I realized they were in a cave/tunnel almost instantly. Although this is original.. doesn't exactly imply.. "Most horrible job", also, the protection wimping out after the threat is discovered.. kinda cliche. The story is amazing, but this doesn't exactly apply as.. "Most horrible job" in my book, but I guess I can't be cruel since Jinsha didn't disqualify you. The plot was interesting, but it felt kind of anti climatic, however it is still well thought out.

Obsidiaguy responds:

Thanks for these. I really appreciate all of the judges taking the time to critique. Good feedback for sure.

[Bad Job Bar (VAC 9)]

JaShinYa

Acting- 33/50
Range- 24/25
Fit- 18/25
Mixing- 13/20
Originality- 14/15
Writing- 11/15
TOTAL- 113/150

I can hear some sort of dead air or maybe external noise from a computer fan or A/C unit in the beginning. The music bed covers it up for the most part, but it bleeds through. With that said, the music was a little loud. It's a good tool to cover that kind of stuff, but you don't want it to interfere with you dialog. While this may supposed to sound more conversational, I suggest being more over-the-top. It's always better to overact than under, especially in something more comedic and especially in an audio skit since there's no visual aid to hold the audience's attention. It seems like you improvised some lines. Improv can be good at times, but a lot of times it sounds unorganized as it does here. You stumbled, slurred and mumbled over some words; don't be afraid or lazy to do retakes. This was turned in early, so you had plenty of time. You have to take pride in your work. The timing between dialog threw me off at times. Sometimes there was too long of a pause or not enough, especially when a character gets interrupted. Overall, it's a pretty neat idea of having a "Bad Job Bar". The voices were definitely varied. My favorite was your voice for the bartender. The radio DJ definitely has the worst job on top of the fact that his voice is a terrible radio voice. haha. In the future, be sure to take your time and polish your recordings and don't be afraid to overact.
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Treg

Acting: 44/50
Range: 18/25
Fit: 20/25
Mixing: 10/20
Originality: 10/15
Writing: 13/15
TOTAL: 115/150

Additional Comments: The bit with the British guy was probably the most entertaining. I love the line "only 20.. what a newb." Only nitpick would be that the music was a little bit distracting, maybe a slower tempo song might have worked a little better.
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mrbipolar

Acting: 20
Range: 13
Fit: 20
Mixing: 15
Originality: 15
Writing: 6
Total: 89

Review: The acting just wasn't doing for me, it seemed a little dry. My suggestion would be to overact just a tad really push out the emaotion as it is a lot easier to bring it back than to pump it up. Your range was really close and I heard a few slip witht the bartender almost becoming your voice. I feel that you really nailed the very last guy though (the DJ), he seemed the most distinct out of your characters, if a little cartoony but that is ok. Mixing was fine, there were a few places where I heard some pops like you had left some residual noise when cutting out a part, it happens no huge point lose for that. Putting together all of these bad jobs into a bar setting, I felt that it fit the theme ok, though pushing it a little though I give full kudos for the original idea. Your writing seemed a little rough, almost as if there was a lot of improv involved in the proccess. All in all I think you did a decent job and would love for you to continue growing so that I can hear you future voice contributions.
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SimCorder

Acting[43/50]
Range[19/25]
Fit[24/25]
Mixing[15/20]
Originality[14/15]
Writing[13/15]
Total [129/150]
(Comments will be PMed)

[Nursing Home]

JaShinYa

Acting- 40/50
Range- 19/25
Fit- 25/25
Mixing- 11/20
Originality- 11/15
Writing- 15/15
TOTAL- 121/150

There is dead air behind your recording. It's not too bad, but I noticed it. I think the constant ambiance was unecessary along with the echo added. One suggestion I have is back up from the mic a bit. When doing some of the more "breathy" lines, it puffs and pops in the mic. Also the I'm not sur ehow many of the SFX you did yourself, but they are hard to make with quality so try your best to find a good recording from the web (I'm referencing the sound of the nurse helping the old person get undressed and all that). The old ladies voice was great; a very classic voice. Overall your acting was very good. Maybe put a little more reaction into the nurses voice, especially when he's being disgusted. The third voice (intercom guy) had only one line, so I would have liked to hear more than that for a third. Lastly, the intercom guy and the nurse had voices that were pretty similar. I'd like to hear something more varied there. Overall, I enjoyed the skit. It was put together well, the mixing was decent for the most part and I would definitely consider you a voice actor I wouldn't mind working with. The skit even made me a little sick. Great job!
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Treg

Acting: 44/50
Range: 20/25
Fit: 25/25
Mixing: 13/20
Originality: 12/15
Writing: 13/15
TOTAL: 127/150

Additional Comments: You did a real good job conveying utter disgust and reluctance. It really makes you feel sorry for the guy. I'd imagine a lot of real nursing home attendants have had very similar experiences. The lady cracks me up.
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mrbipolar

Acting: 44
Range: 15
Fit: 25
Mixing: 20
Originality: 8
Writing: 13
Total: 125

Review: I enjoyed the acting and really felt the emotion of the main character (poor guy) I certainly could sympathize with him and agreed that his job would really suck. Barbara was a little shakier, sometime when doing a voice it takes the focus away from the acting and you lose the emotion. Range was kinda close between the "announcer" and the main character, and sometimes when doing the old lady (especially during the singing in the bathroom) you almost slipped back into your main characters voice. As far as fit is concerned, I think you nailed it, this is certainly a terrible job. Mixing you did a good job on and I have no feedback to give on that. Originality, honestly I saw this job coming, not saying its a bad concept and you certainly made it work, I just saw it coming. Your writing was good and I liked the singing in the bathroom, some of the perverted lines seemed a little forced, but that is probably because you are obviously not an old woman yourself (I hope) and so you had to go with your gut. Overall I think that you made a great piece here and I can wait to see more from you in the future.
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SimCorder

Acting[46/50]
Range[12/25]
Fit[22/25]
Mixing[20/20]
Originality[15/15]
Writing[12/15]
Total[127/150]
(Comments to be PMed)

[Misadventures of Mouseboy]

"Misadventures of Mouseboy" by bustersquash
Acting: 19/50
Range: 21/25
Fit: 22/25
Mixing: 6/20
Originality: 9/15
Writing: 10/15
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/472317
DQ'd
Additional Comments: There is a major background hiss and you have a bunch of puffs and pops. instead of doing this all in one take, i would break up your lines and mix them together later. i saw you only put an hour's worth of work into this. If you want to put out a quality recording, you'll have to put in more work than that. You did have a clear distinction between your voices. However I am going to have to Disqualify you for not meeting the criteria for submission length.

bustersquash responds:

I understand thanks for your input and listening, also this was my first submission and since this i have gotten new software that can remove the hiss and pops

[Dewey & Mark]

"Dewey & Mark" by Fabes
Acting: 22/50
Range: 10/25
Fit: 19/25
Mixing: 4/20
Originality: 14/15
Writing: 9/15
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/472412
TOTAL: 78/150
Additional Comments: You had a bad reverb problem and the guy who was being called was distorted. You had some mumbling issues. The skipping back and forth between the 2 guys and clips of the heros was abit confusing. The range wasn't very clear between all the voices. More enthusiasm would have been great. The whole recording was also very breathy. The villain was the best voice so take that and build on it. If you listen to voice actors who are already established and ghet some more critiques and keep putting out material, you'll get better. Not too bad for the first time.

[Submission for VA contest]

"Submission for VA contest" by Meta-crimson
Acting: 28/50
Range: 4/25
Fit: 12/25
Mixing: 14/20
Originality: 11/15
Writing: 11/15
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/474243
TOTAL: 80/150
Additional Comments: Try adding a "roll-in" or intro instead of jumping right into the dialog. Raise the gain a bit as well. Give me more enthusiasm!!! There wasn't a lot of range. I think the major issue other than not giving a lot of enthusiasm (though around 2 minutes you let it out a bit and it was MUCH better), is that I would have written a script that woudl have featured your voice better. You could have 1 tough chick, but with your voice being on the higher end, i woudl think about writing a script where you could add someone a bit more light hearted to help you add range. I am glad to see a female voice actor so keep getting better because the world definitely needs more of you!

[John and Larry]

"John And Larry" by Numb3rL0ck
Acting: 31/50
Range: 7/25
Fit: 12/25
Mixing: 14/20
Originality: 14/15
Writing: 13/15
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/470335
TOTAL: 91/150
Additional Comments: The beat-boxing was a bit distracting. all of your characters sounded very similar. I would also like to hear more enthusiasm and emotion. The narrator was a cool idea, but you need to have more diction- it was a bit mumbly at times. Honestly, the last ranomd thing you threw in was the best part because it was natural and you kind of let go. During the actual skit, you seemed self-concious and maybe were trying too hard. I think you can definitely be better. You just gotta loosen up!

[Take That Ruffians!]

"Take That Ruffians!" by KeepYourDistance
Acting: 26/50
Range: 20/25
Fit: 21/25
Mixing: 14/20
Originality: 15/15
Writing: 9/15
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/473344
TOTAL: 105/150
Additional Comments: There is background hiss.the narrator would have been better if you could have made him more snooty. goofier and more enthusastic acting would have been great for the villains. I would have worked on your script more instead of ad libbing. Is created odd pauses and took away from the script overall. If this is your first time, it's not too bad. Keep working on the critques and I think you'll do very well in the future. I have to say my favorite voice is the gilbert godfrey villager. Work on your strong voices then start creating different ones!

KeepYourDistance responds:

Thanks for the constructive criticism!